Woman jokes
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
The dear God created the man.
Then he created woman.
When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?
Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
Why can’t Indian women drive?
They’re too used to riding their camels.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.