Winter

Winter jokes

Phone Call

One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.

"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"

Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."

"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."

"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."

"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."

"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.

"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."

"Okay daddy!"

*long pause*

"Okay daddy! I did it!"

"Great job Sally! What did she say?"

"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."

Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"

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  • Snowman

    Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?

    He was picking his nose.

    Mistletoe

    "I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe."

    "Why?"

    "Because I want to hang!"

    Memes

    Picture

    My first christmas picture second one ima draw tommorw at school or tonight depends

    A drawing shows a snowman wearing a black hat and a tree with red fruit. The word 'MERRY' is written above in yellow letters.

    Woman

    Why is it that skinny men like fat women?

    Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.

    Snow

    What did the icicle say to the snow?

    "Why do you have to be so soft?"

    Snow

    Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!

    Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?

    Snover1: There's snow in the way.

    Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.

    Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!

    "AAAAARRRGGH!!"

    Squirtle: Who is that?

    Snover2: That is Snow.

    Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!

    Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!

    "Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"

    "Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"

    Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!

    Santa

    Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"

    Print

    How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

    You look for the fresh prints.