Winter Jokes

What do tigers 🐅 wear in the winter ❄️?

A striped sweater.

What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

What falls and never gets hurt? Snow

It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

Where does a snowman keep his money? In a snowbank

Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.

How do rappers stay warm in the winter?

They drop FIRE TRACKS

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?

Give her a shovel.

What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?

Frostbite!

What do you call a winter time contact?

A Santa clause.

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas? He got gloves. Ohh sry he cud never open the present.

What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray

one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, "No, shes upstairs with Uncle john" "Uncle john? i don't know an Uncle John." "no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy" "no i'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family." "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally. "Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now." "Okay daddy!"

*long pause*

"Okay daddy! I did it!' "Great job Sally! What did she says?"

"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."

then dad replies "Swimming pool? we dont have a...is this 468-1843?"

Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.

What did the icicle say to the snow? "Why do you have to be so soft?"

I wish 911 was in December because the poor farm feilds

"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe " " why?" "Because I want to hang"

Why do emo love the winter because the long sleeves