Winter jokes
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
What happens when you are playing Undertale, but it's snowy in town? It SNOWED in town!
Why was Santa happy?
Because he had 3 hoes.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
What is your snow ❄️ name? X-ray.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”