Winter jokes
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use, you wouldn't get it.
What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
What did one snow 鉂勶笍 man say to itself? My arm is broken.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar, and Flour.
Why do Native Americans hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land.
Why was Santa Santa?
Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀
What do snowmen call snowballs?
Children!
Why is Santa so happy? He knows where all the naughty girls and ho ho hos live.
What happens if you play with Santa鈥檚 ball? You get a white Christmas.
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.
What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
What does Santa say to 3 girls in a row?
HO HO HO
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.
Is your name winter? Because you鈥檒l be cumming soon.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can鈥檛 come in, you鈥檝e come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing鈥檚 been canceled." Kili: "That鈥檚 a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It鈥檚 nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it鈥檚 been in the family for years. That鈥檚 my mother鈥檚 glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Ki颅li, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let鈥檚 shove this in the hole, or otherwise we鈥檒l never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There鈥檚 nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There鈥檚 far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead鈥檚 idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.