Winter jokes
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
I hate when I lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. Where do I lose my friends from Afghanistan?
In an explosion.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with a snowman?
FROSTY RHYMES!
What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar, and Flour.
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
How do you find a rapper in a snowstorm?
Look for the one with the "ICE-COLD RHYMES."
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants? A: He heard the snowblower coming.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowgirl?
Snowballs.
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!
Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?
Snover1: There's snow in the way.
Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.
Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!
"AAAAARRRGGH!!"
Squirtle: Who is that?
Snover2: That is Snow.
Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!
Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!
"Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"
"Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"
Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!
When it's cold outside, men can cut ice in three places.
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.
And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
Texas be like everything is bigger here: guns and winter storms!