Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.
Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
How do you know if a snowman is a gril or a boy?
A:snow balls
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
What school did we say it was today? What did the snow say? "I love!"
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
So, I was laying in bed and it's winter, so my room is always cold because the heater doesn't work.
And I was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then I laughed because who would wanna be with me. Hahaha
What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
How do you make Olaf hard? You tickle his snowballs.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
