The 30+ Best Peter Jokes

Why does peter pan always fly because he NeverLands

Jesus took bread and said: "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said: "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise and Peter said: "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"

Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?

Because her neck was killing her.

Three men die the same time and I'll go to heaven to go find St Peter St Peter says to them is going to be a long journey to heaven so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives we'll start with you Michael since you were quite the womanizer you and cheating on your on your wife multiple times you will be getting a Toyota the man embarrassed left in the Toyota Nolan you you were better you cheated on your wife twice so I will give you a Mercedes now for now as for you mark you never cheated on your wife you are an absolute saint so I will be giving you a Lamborghini and the Man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car and he and the Man in the Toyota what the hell is going on and the Man in the Lamborghini says I was through streets of Heaven and so my wife riding in roller skates

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?

Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.

What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both easy to lay. Both costly and time consuming to get rid of. .... What did saint peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly ? Wipe that Merc of your face.

They should bring Michael Jackson beck from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie

What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?

Wendy's

if someone calls you just say this is peters abortion clinic and pizza restaurant were yesterdays loss is today's sauce

"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."

- Joe Biden. (A.K.A Pedo Peter.)

I'm the champion of this site I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary buddah.

Now for my joke... Why does Peter pan always fly? Because he neverlands..

What meme does an Emo hate the most?

"Happy Happy Happy peter griffin"

So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter".

Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.

On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter".

Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.

On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter".

Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important"?

Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here".