When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
What's a Ninja's worst fear?
Garmadon actually winning.
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!
At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"
Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
What's the name of a crazy crap that wins everything? Winnie da Pooh.
What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics?
WALKING!
