Win Jokes

What's a Ninja's worst fear? Garmadon actually winning.

Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.

And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.

Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?

A: Because they can never seem to get a full house

Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun? Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.

If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies spawn” - Sun Tzu

"It's not a war crime if you win the war" - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery? keaving your son with Michael Jackson

q: what are women better than men at doing

a: winning arguments

q: what are men better than women at doing

a: winning swimming titles

What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics? WALKING!

What's the name of a crazy crap that Wins everything ?? Winnie da POOH🌻✌💚✌

Why can’t Orphans win trophy’s because they can’t take them home

I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend she cant stand for her self

Why can’t Michael jackson win a race Because he’s always coming in a lil behind

Why did the African win the food eating contest. Begginers luck.

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.

Why do cheetahs always win? Because they cheat

So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

There are three men walking down the road and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm there is a cow a monkey and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money and the farm is going out of business. One of the men's sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest but it's so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them in suggested that they put a cork up the cows behind. The first guy says okay then go put a cork there. I don't want to do it you do it no you do it. The third guy says let's just get the monkey to do it. And the monkey puts the cork in the couch behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm. The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of cow. Guys we need to take the cork out of the cow he says. Well I'm not going to do it you do it, no you do it. The third guy says let's just get the monkey to do it again. So the monkey uncorks a cow. And there was a huge explosion.... a few days later the three men wake up in the hospital. The doctor walks up to the first man what happened he asks the first man replies all I remember is that a horrible sound. The doctor walks up to the second man and asks what happened. All I remember is that horrible smell.... The doctor walks up to the third man and again ask the same question. The third man looks at him and says all I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in.