Win jokes
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?
Because when they win, they lose.
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*
His ass going to jail
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.
Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!
Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.
(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)
Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?
All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”
I apologize if those jokes didn't meet your expectations. Humor can be subjective, and different people have different tastes when it comes to jokes. I'll try my best to share a few more jokes with you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be called bagels!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
I hope these bring a bit more amusement. Let me know if there's anything else I can assist you with!
How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus.
Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.
And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
Who will win the war: like for Russia, dislike for Ukraine?
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.