Will jokes
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.
After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”
The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”
Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
Memes
Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
What did the tower say to the other one?
I will see you later; I am about to get hit.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?
How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
Roses are red,
I am dead.
You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.
Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)