Will jokes
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
Your hairline is so crooked that it made Will Smith feel straight.
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
Memes
If you guys are smart, you will get this.
Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?
A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
Why don’t orphans live in villages?
Because they will get abandoned.
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Q: Why can't pilots play Jenga?
A: Because they will just hit the Twin Towers.
Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.
How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.