Why can't Jesus judge gay people?
He got nailed right before he died.
Why Jokes
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.
Why did the rapper become a tailor?
Because they wanted to drop some fresh THREADS.
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some MONEY MOVES.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed.
Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?
Because their car ran out of RHYME.
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some ROOT RHYMES.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his DENTAL FLOW checked.
Why did the DJ go to jail?
Because he dropped the bass too hard!
