Whos jokes
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I suck.
I suck who?
Michael Jackson.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
Memes
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
What's white, black, and red all over?
A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.
Who are the fastest readers in history?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Who did the bee 🐝 marry?
Her honey!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bikini.
Bikini who?
Oh, that was just a bikini.
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?