Whos jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: A broken pencil.
Friend: A broken pencil who?
Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.
War isn't about who's right. It's about who's left.
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
*Ring Ring!*
Who’s there?
Soldier!
Soldier who?
You’ve soldier house! Congrats!
waHt
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
You sound like an owl.
Prankster kid: Knock knock.
Neighbor: Who's there?
...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Pencil.
Pencil who?
Oh, never mind, it's pointless.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
Friend: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Short.
Me: Short who?
Friend: Short you!
Me: 🙁
Friend: 🤣
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"F... off!"
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?
What do you call someone who fixes walls?
Juan, probably.
Why did Michael Joseph Jackson cross the road? To get away from the parents of the boys who stayed in his house, and to go to a store where boys' underwear was 1/2 off.
I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.