Whos jokes
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
What's white, black, and red all over?
A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
Memes
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Little Boy Blue. Little Boy Blue who? Michael Jackson.
Who are the fastest readers in history?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had a cool subject! The subject was about Penaldo, the man who statpadded against small teams and camped in the pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which Penaldo dived like a dolphin!
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
Who did the bee 🐝 marry?
Her honey!
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"