Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
Whos Jokes
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
Answer: 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 5 seconds.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
Once there was a man. A man who had a butt.
Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job, but just before the boss was going to hire him, he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over, the man screamed and jumped out the window.
He didn't get the job.
If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute, you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00. If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also Polish, you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. And if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is Canadian and Polish with blond hair, you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. But if you wanted to fuck him up the ass, he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of Crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at an adult book store.
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims. 100 stories in 11 seconds.
Guess who I saw at school today?
Everyone I looked at. loooooooool
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they did 98 stories in 10 seconds.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Yo mama so fat...
She's the iceberg who sunk the Titanic!
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?
The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.
A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"
Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"
