Whos jokes
About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...
He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."
Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."
The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
Memes
who wouldnt?
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.