When jokes
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!
My grandpa said I was too reliant on technology when he saw me on my phone. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
When do astronauts eat lunch?
At launch time.
Memes
when my teacher says were my homework at
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.