When jokes
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
Michael J. Fox isn't allowed around small children. When he touches them, he is immediately accused of shaken baby syndrome.
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.
What can orphans not get when playing a sport?
A home run!
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
What happened when the depressed kid went to give it a high five?
It left him hanging.
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
Where did the orphans go when the orphanage blew up?
Everywhere...
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on a dollar, four quarters pop out.
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
I screamed "Jenga" today when watching the 9/11 documentary.