When jokes

Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.

Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.

In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.

Girls are like volcanoes.

You never know when they will erupt.

What's the same with shoes and slaves?

When they get loose, you tie them up.

Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.

When I got to school, I was speechless.

Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?

Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.

Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.

Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.

Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"

When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

When the orphan got a job as a priest, what was his name?

Father Les.

What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.

Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."

Students: "oof"

Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

Students: "Yeah, your parents."

You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!

Why is prostitution illegal?

Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.