When jokes

When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.

When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.

Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?

When is Donald Trump?

What do you call Jamieilyah when she is sleeping?

Sleeping Beauty.

Why did God give women legs?

1. To look at.

2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.

Your dad is so stupid that when he jumped the fence, the gate was open.

What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

"Echhh!"

People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)

When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!

What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?

"Meow!"

What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

When a man loses his testosterone,

Man: Could I please have a loaner boner?

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.

First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.

When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.

The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.

"Why did you move?" the German asked.

The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."

Yo mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.