When jokes

When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

I'm so depressed that when I smile my Face ID won't work.

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.

My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.

When you are bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Call their parents?

What did the knight say when he went to bed?

"Good Knight!" lul

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

Kid: I want to be Batman.

Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.

Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.

Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.

Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.

I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.

When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.

What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?

Panera sped.

What's the difference between a gay guy and an oven?

An oven doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?

"Cya suckers!🍭"

What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"