When jokes
When a man loses his testosterone,
Man: Could I please have a loaner boner?
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?
When you are chilling in the World Trade Center, and then you suddenly get airplane WiFi.
What happens when the terminator pees?
Gasoline descent.
When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?
He has no home to hit to.
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.
You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."
Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.
Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits around the earth, she sits around the earth.
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
You: I have a nice hairline.
Your friend: Since when do you have one?
You: I forgot.
What sound does an Indian make when you're trying to fuck it? ieieieie.