When jokes

1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?

2) Where did all the orphans go?

PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!

When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.

What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?

A miscarriage.

When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"

"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."

You're so ugly that when The Oh Hellos saw you, they were like "Oh Bye!"

Yo mama so disgusting that when she took a shower, the water turned into ditchwater.

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

Yo mama so poor, when I rang her doorbell, she said, "Ding!"

When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.

My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

How do you know if a rapper's broke?

When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.

I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."

Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.

Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?

A. They call an AmBOOlance.

You're so fat when you walk into the mall, you *are* the mall.

Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.

Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."

When I saw someone jump out of one of the towers, I yelled, "Do a flip!"

What's brown and white with red all over?

Terrorists when they went into the Twin Towers.