When jokes
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
When did the cheetah steal from the bakery?
On Black Friday!!!
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo of himself?
A family photo.
What did the booty say when it was asked to help?
"I've got your backside covered!"
What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?
A booty call.
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
What happened when two invisible giants knocked over their blocks?
9/11.
What's the funniest thing you ever read? For me it was when Rapboat told me he was a legit rapper.
When you try to close a Google ad because it was covering content, but it was covered by "Ad closed by Google."
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.
Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"
You're American when you go in the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but what are you when you are still in the bathroom? European (you're-a-peein').
I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.