When jokes
What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT
Bro looks like his mom dropped him when he was a new born
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on a monster truck she turned it into a lowrider.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?
A family photo.
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
You're so fat you can't see your penis when you piss.
My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.
“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.
Me and my twin when we share a pizza: there can be only one!
Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.
Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.
What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?
"When am I gonna see my parents?"
Lmao.
I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.
When the emo kid went to high five the tree, the tree left him hanging.
FUCK EMO KIDS!
I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.
I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.
What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?
He got gangryeen.
Gangrene+green+angry
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.