When jokes
What time is it when you get home and you walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school? Oooooo day, a great night for
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
Boeing
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
When you are chilling in the World Trade Center, and then you suddenly get airplane WiFi.
There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.
Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."
Yo mama so fat that when she pooped, poop exploded everywhere!
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
"Echhh!"
The only hood I like is pointy and white.
That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?
"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.
The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."
So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."
When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.
That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬