When jokes

My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

What time is it when a rooster sits on a fence? Morning.

What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence.

What time is it when a lawyer sits on the fence? Time for an elephant to sit on the fence.

What is it called when young sheep bet?

LAMbling.

(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)

When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣

When you try to close a Google ad because it was covering content, but it was covered by "Ad closed by Google."

When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

What did the girl say when she ran through the door?

Ouch.

I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."

When a person is thinking of a high number in Roblox

-smashes keyboard-

Yo mama so old, she was there when Moses was born.

What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?

"9 Juan Juan, who this?"

Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?

Because they don't have titties.

What do you do when you made a misteak?

You do some yoga 🧘‍♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."

What did the man say when he knocked down the bookshelf?

Looks like I've only got myself to blame...

I know a baby carrot when I see one.

Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?

A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.

What do you call skeletons having sex?

When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.

Q: What did the egg do when the bacon told it a joke?

A: It cracked up!