When jokes

I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.

What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?

He got gangryeen.

Gangrene+green+angry

When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.

Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

You're so fat you can't see your penis when you piss.

You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.

Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.

Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.

I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.

I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.

Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.

When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,

"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"

What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?

A family photo.

Me and my twin when we share a pizza: there can be only one!

My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.

“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”

How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.

Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*

Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*

A question: When is (my name) happy?

Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*

Answer: Never, only a portion.

Friend: Do you need help?

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

What does a wife and a boombox have in common?

They only work when you beat them.

Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol

When your sister asks you to entertain her, you don't!

What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?

Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...