When jokes
What does a kid do when he's bored and he's sitting? He puts wheels on the chair and makes it a wheelchair.
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you… wait… also the regret after.
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?
Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone.
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.
Three friends were stuck in the desert. They were struggling and trying to find food when they found a magical lamp. They rubbed it and out came a genie, and the genie says, "Each of you friends get to have one wish." So the first friend said, "I wish to go home," same as the second one. The third friend said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were with me!"
When I walk to school, I fart.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.
Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.
Followed by landing in deep shit.
Followed by being totally covered in sea men.