When jokes
Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?
A: Makes a Down payment.
You are so ugly, when the Joker saw you, he stopped laughing.
My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
Lol same
What does Joker say when someone gets angry at him for not liking oats?
"Hey, why so cereal?"
Why can’t Kurt Cobain ride in the passenger seat?
Because he doesn’t like when someone calls "shotgun!"
What did Stephen Hawking's mum say to him when he asked for £10?
"You can take a run and jump!"
When does Stephen Hawking cross the road?
When it says "DON'T WALK."
When people are ready to die for their country:
Trust the Unionist Party.
Better than Reform.
What did Henry VIII say when he was asked to review Six the Musical?
"It was okay, but I really think they could have cut a few parts."
What do you get when you cross a blonde chick and a garden tool?
A dumbass hoe.
What do you get when you cross Freddie Mercury and Dracula?
A dead man with AIDS.
How does Stephen Hawking compete in the hurdles?
He ducks when he gets to them.
When Stephen Hawking's teacher asked him, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
He said, "Six foot four."
When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.
What do you call it when two gay roosters fight?
Cockfighting
What do you call it when Panera Bread shuts down?
Panera is dead.
Yo hairline so ugly, when you go to school you fall on a line.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.