When jokes
The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.
What happened when the fire used Tinder?
He luckily got a lot of matches.
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?
What's the difference between babies and onions? I cry when I cut onions.
What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?
Microsoft.
Where do dogs go when their tails fall off?
To the retail store.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.
What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?
"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.
Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?
A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.