Vest

Vest Jokes

Kanye West

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.

Jacket

How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.

How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.

CEO

Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?

A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.

Height

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

School

Why was the American kid late to school?

Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.

Dad

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?

Bicycle

What's the difference between a bicycle?

A banana, because vests don't have sleeves.

Feminist

What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?

At least one does something when it is triggered.