When jokes

I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?

Moses hits the adoption lottery!

If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Honda? Just the Honda.

The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.

There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"

What did the horse say when his throat was sore?

I have a hoarse throat!

What happened when the fire used Tinder?

He luckily got a lot of matches.

Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?

Microsoft.

Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?

What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?

"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."

How do goldfish know when to eat?

They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.

When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.

When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?

Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?

A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.

What do you get when you throw a pebble into the ocean?

A wet pebble.

Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.