When jokes

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.

I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.

Onions was a good dog.

What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?

An investigator!

What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger?

A gingerbread man.

What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!

A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.

He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there's a knock at the door.

He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says, "What was that all about?"

So you mom call she side when Covin come home?

What does Finn Wolfhard do when he makes a good joke?

He drops the Mike.

Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."

My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.

Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.

Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.

When Drake was making the song "Back to Back," he was referring to your hairline.

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

But when?

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

What did the customer ask when he went to the cannibal restaurant?

"Who's the special today?"

Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.

What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?

"That rotten asshole split on me again!"