When jokes
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
What did God say when he created the first black person?
"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"
Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?
When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
When orphans go to school, they can’t get parent pickup.
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
What happened when the fire used Tinder?
He luckily got a lot of matches.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?
Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!
What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?