When jokes
What did the shark say when it ate the clownfish?
It tasted funny!
What do you say when you sister's annoying you?
Go oasis (go away sis)!
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.
Memes
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
What season is it when you're on a trampoline?
Spring time!
Time is like a machine, it slows down when beaten.
When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
Did you hear about the tourist that came to New York? Good, because they were a terrorist... When they were asked why they were traveling, they just mispronounced it.
I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.
I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."
What did the Indian say when the pizza was delivered to him?
"Hey! Who puked on the frybread?"
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.