When jokes

What's black and white and red all over?

The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.

Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.

I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.

What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?

"Nunya business!"

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.

Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.

What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.

What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?

It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.

What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁

What do you call it when Panera Bread shuts down?

Panera is dead.

Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.