When jokes

Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?

Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.

What do you call it when Panera Bread shuts down?

Panera is dead.

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."

At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."

What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?

Panera head.

Yo mama so fat...

That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!

When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

When is the peanut butter due to arrive?

In a Jif.

What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?

“Nice spread!”

The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"

The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."

The circular saw would reply with, "What?"

When is a cold not a cold?

I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.

Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...

Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."

You when you face the boss the first time: :)

You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(

You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(

You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:

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What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?

Slim Shady.

Who needs sex when they have Valorant?