When jokes

What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?

Slim Shady.

Who needs sex when they have Valorant?

When you lock the door, but you realize it's a pull open door!

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?

I spy.

Yo mama is so fat, when she was a spy, she was called "double obese."

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.

Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!

Where did the orphans go when the orphanage blew up?

Everywhere...

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.

What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?

They both go "Ping" when they are done.

Yo mama so dumb, when she looked at the light, she said, "Why is the sun so close to me?"

My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.

When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.

When orphans go to school, they can’t get parent pickup.

Why did the judge dismiss court when the orphan walked in?

Even a gay prison wouldn't want him.