When jokes
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?
So she claims to be.
And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Glock, glock.
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."
What did the Los Angeles Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breathe? They gave George Floyd two squirts of Zicam cold remedy inside his nose.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!
B: Thank you.
A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!