When jokes
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
Memes
Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
I’m tall when I’m young, and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
Joe Mama so fat when she stepped on the sidewalk, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
What's the only time a Pentagon has four sides? When a plane intercepts into it.
Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison.
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
What do you get when you cut an onion?
Onion jizz.
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
I suck Cyrus's dick when he is sleeping.
When does a pentagon only have 4 sides?
When a plane hits it.
Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.
My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.