When jokes
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
"Long time no sea."
Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.
What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?
Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."
This joke never gets old. Just like the child.
Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny!
"Why is my name Rose?"
"A rose fell on your head when you were born."
"Why is my name Daisy?"
"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."
"Bedrock is better than Java!"
"Oh, hi Brick!"
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus!
What does a refrigerator and a gay male have in common?
Only one farts when you pull the meat out. 🌝🌝🌝
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
What do orphans do when they get a phone? They press the home button.