When jokes
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!
What happens when you cross a pig and karate?
A pork chop!
What time is it when you can walk home from school today and walk?
Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school?
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.
Q: What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? A: Magic!
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.