When jokes
When your mum tells you to help your granny.
And you unplug life support!
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
Memes
Me when I know its my last day of being a cow and I already hate my life
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.
My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.
Q: What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? A: Magic!
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the pool, the water jumped out!
When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"
Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.
A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"
Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"
The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.