When jokes

My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the pool, the water jumped out!

When the cow goes, "moo," and sheep say, "baaa," and the bull says, "boo!"

When an orphan takes a picture, it’s a family portrait.

Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.

What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.

Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?

Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.

What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!

A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.

He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.

Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.

Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?

You: What?

Me: She let it go, let it go!

When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"

When is the last time you picked up the phone?