When jokes

Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?

A: At least you don't die when you shower.

Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!

My friend's mom: Why you bully me?

Yo momma is so fat, when she fell I was not laughing, but the sidewalk cracked up.

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

What does Sonic wear when he goes to the beach? A speedo.

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.

When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?

“I’m gonna cashew!”

What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?

A 24 killstreak!

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"

Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"

What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?

A dictator.

Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.

I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,

they bring me things. <_>

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.

When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.

Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.

When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"