When jokes
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
What do emos do when they meet up?
They hang out.
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
What is it called when two Mexicans play basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait/A selfie.
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
What do you call it when orphans take a family photo? A selfie!
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"