When jokes

You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

People named Aaron are annoying. Why have two A’s when you can have none? (Ron)

What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.

What did the beach say when the tide came in?

"Long time no sea."

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."

I know it's really, really, really, really bad.

Depression jokes are wrong, stop making them; they're cruel and nasty. So stop; people are feeling like they're hated when they read your orphan jokes or depression jokes, so PLEASE stop.

when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)

-> in reality, :( (sob)

depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.

Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.

This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

"Echhh!"

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!

Yo mama is so stupid, when she saw on her computer it said "You have 3 cookies," she broke it.

Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.

You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.

It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.

But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?

Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."