When jokes
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.
Why crack your fingers when you can finger your crack?
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
Why do orphans love Oreos?
Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
You know you're high when you hold all your pineapples hostage and yell, "SpongeBob, I know you're in there!"
Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.
Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.