When jokes
It’s nice hitting it from the back when my wife has wide hips.
Her butt cheeks look like big huge ball sacks as my thighs smack up against them when I’m thrusting. I like to finish off by grinding my weiner up and down her back like a gay man frotting his schlong on his partner’s ding dong.
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?
Why was the orphan so famous?
Because when they asked him go big or go home, he only had one option.
I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?
You cry when you cut an onion.
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."
Yo mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi, it caused a level 8 tsunami.
All I can see when I pass Saturn is Uranus because it's so big.
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?