When jokes

Fat

  • You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

  • 0
  • Quarantine

  • Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.

    They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."

    "No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.

  • 2
  • Michael Jackson

  • Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"

    The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."

  • 1
  • Abortion

  • When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

  • 0
  • Dam

  • Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."

    Bellybutton

  • Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."

    Mama

  • Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.

    Mama

  • Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.