When jokes
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
Yo, I feel like shit when you're around.
You when you face the boss the first time: :)
You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(
You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(
You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:
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Why did everyone run from the Mexican when he went to the snack bar?
He said "¡Hola snack bar!" ¡Hola means hello in Spanish.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
What's the difference between a hooker and Jesus?
Their face when you nail them!
Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
A lot of things changed when I got my girlfriend pregnant: my name, my address, and my phone number.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
When an orphan takes a selfie, it's a family photo.
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.
In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"