When jokes

What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?

You cry when you cut an onion.

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...

The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.

The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."

Yo mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi, it caused a level 8 tsunami.

All I can see when I pass Saturn is Uranus because it's so big.

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?

Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.

Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."

What did God say when he created the first black person?

"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"

When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.

And then Mark came in.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.

I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.

I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

When is rape normal?

When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.

Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"