Wheelchair jokes
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
Why couldn’t wheelchair Harry Potter go to Hogwarts?
They had no wheelchair ramps or elevators...
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?
To get its wheelchair!
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!