Wheelchair jokes
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
Why couldn’t wheelchair Harry Potter go to Hogwarts?
They had no wheelchair ramps or elevators...
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?
To get its wheelchair!
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.