Wheelchair jokes
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!
A 90 year old man takes a Viagra.
Strips off naked, lies down in an alley way. Three chicks walk on by: a blond, a brunette, and a red head.
The red head said, "I'm not letting that go to waste," so she strips off and rides him. When she's finished,
The brunette then strips off naked and rides him. The blond's now worried because she just got her period. The red head sez, "He's dead. Don't let it go to waste," so she strips off naked and rides him. Then he wakes up. He then says, "Wow, two jump starts and a blood transfusion. I'm good to go!"
Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?
They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?
For his sake, I hope that heaven is wheelchair accessible...
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄