Medical equipment jokes

My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.

I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.

My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"

My father said I'm too reliant on technology.

I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.

Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.

When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

There is a thin line between death and life!

You won't live to see it.....

The Cardiogram will!!

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.

My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?

My heartbeat.

What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?

... A FLATLINE!

If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.