Wheelchair jokes

How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?

The wheelchair floats to the top.

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:

Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"

Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"

Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?"

"No, ... hurdles."

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.