Whats jokes
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?
Home buttons.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
Memes
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.
What would a heterosexual woman that is a whore do for $500.00 that a gay man would be willing to do for free for a heterosexual man at a glory hole?
Suck his big cock.
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie one shoe.
What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.