Whats jokes
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
What's NASA's grossest mission?
Probing Uranus.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
"Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."
Ok.
"Thank you, what is your wish?"
I wish for my 5 cents back.
"What bus?"
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
I saw a little boy begging for money.
I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents!"
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.