Whats jokes
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
Stealing presents from orphans - a quote by Technoblade.
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
Memes
Relatable
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
What is black and white and red all over?
Answer: A newspaper.
That is what my 3-year-old told me.
What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Dam.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite place in Fortnite? The reboot van.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.
What would a heterosexual woman that is a whore do for $500.00 that a gay man would be willing to do for free for a heterosexual man at a glory hole?
Suck his big cock.
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.